Contentious 10 – The 10 Most Stupid Acts of Football Stupidity

Contentious 10 – The 10 Most Stupid Acts of Football Stupidity

In light of Celtic captain Scott Brown’s moment of complete and utter stupidity in taking a fly kick at Neymar jr. during the Champions League tie with Barcelona at Celtic Park it got me thinking of other footballers who, in a moment of complete and utter buffoonery, have done something that they as well as team mates, managers and fans completely regret so I bring you the contentious 10 stupid football antics.

Ooh Aah that ya bassa!

Eric Cantona is not only credited with reviving the fortunes of Manchester United but is also the man who revived the art of poorly executed flying kicks on annoying arseholes.  25th January 1995 saw a frustrated Cantona being sent off in a game against Crystal Palace, on his way off the park Eric’s attention turned to Palace fan Matthew Simmons who had made his way to the front of the stand to hurl abuse at the Frenchman.  The abuse was nothing more than a million players have heard before however the bold Eric reacted in the way a million players had wanted to but refrained from.  He launched a pitiful flying kick at the startled Palace fan and then threw in a couple of crap punches for good measure.  This act of stupidity got Cantona a worldwide ban, a £30,000 fine and he never played for his country again, on the plus side he did show up the Palace fan for the arsehole that he was!!  Eric retired from football and went on to make films about sardines or something.


Brazil v Turkey in the 2002 World Cup.  Turkish player Hakan Unsal kicks the ball to Rivaldo who is waiting to take a corner, the ball hits the Brazilian lightly on the thigh, clearly upset at his complete lack of control and the possibility of the world thinking he’d lost his uber skills Rivaldo clutches his face and throws himself to the floor.  The world wonders whether the playmaker has been struck down by a severe case of sinusitis but Korean referee Yung Joo Kim decides that Unsal has deliberately aimed the ball at Rivaldo and sends off the Turk.  Rivaldo is later fined for his act of “simulation” but escaped suspension and later stated he wasn’t sorry for what he did.  This act of stupidity marred the career of one of the greatest players of his generation, for all the amazing things Rivaldo did on a football field he will always be remembered for this act of stupid cheating.

Paolo’s push

Horrible fascist Di Canio bagged himself an 11 match ban for pushing referee Paul Alcock while playing for Sheffield Wednesday against Arsenal.  Now while the Italians reaction was utterly stupid this came 3rd in the stupidity awards during the sequence, in 2nd place was the absolute stupid comedy fall performed by the ref but in 1st place and winning the stupidity gold medal is Nigel Winterburn acting the hardman then utterly shiteing himself when Di Canio looks his way!

Zidane floors Materazzi

One of the greatest players of all time fell foul to the taunts of Italian spanner Marco Materazzi during the 2006 World Cup Final.  Zidane had been awarded the Golden Ball as player of the tournament before the final and was on course to lead his country to another World Cup triumph unfortunately Zizou failed to finish the game due to being sent off during extra time for what is commonly referred to as a head butt however was more akin to a bull wiping out a matador.  Zidane was stupid enough to let the Italian defender get under his skin however felt what he did was right and would rather “die than apologise” to Materazzi.

Stick to fishing tackle Gazza

Paul Gacoigne was England’s great hope, a man with the world at his feet and while he lacked intelligence in his head he had it in abundance in his feet.  The man who gained world wide recognition for crying like a baby at the 1990 World Cup was playing his last game for Spurs before his big money move to Lazio, it was the FA Cup Final against Nottingham Forrest and Gazza decides to make his mark in the game early doors by wiping out Forrest’s Gary Charles in the opening stages, Stuart Pearce scored from the resultant free kick and Gazza ruptured his cruciate ligament.  All in all not one of the Geordies finer moments although if you consider his other acts of stupidity such as taking supplies to Raul Moat and signing for Rangers it perhaps wasn’t too bad after all.

Move Murdo MOVE!!!

Murdo was fulfilling every Scotsman’s dream playing against Brazil in the World Cup!  Italia 90 gave many memorable moments, MacLeod remembers them all apart from the game he actually played in! MacLeod was in the wall facing down a free kick about to be taken by Branco who was widely recognised as having a pretty decent shot on him, in todays game and even back in 1990 players tend to duck, jump, move or are easily pushed when they are in a defensive wall but not our blonde haired nutter, Murdo stood tall, he stood firm, he didn’t stand again for 3 days!

When worlds collide

Another crazy Scotland World Cup moment, strange how all our World Cup memories are made up of head in hands moments.  Two of the best defenders our country have ever produced decide to tackle each other instead of the USSR attacker at the 1982 World Cup resulting in other goal against and another early exit.

The art of defending

Thank you to Mwepu Ilunga for possibly the most stupid but funniest thing ever to happen on a football pitch, all I can say is watch it again, and again, and again….

Diamond Lights

Daft footballers + persuasive agent = stupidity on vinyl!

Massings gonnie get ye!!

Claudio you did well beating the first, and the second, are you so stupid you didn’t see this coming?

What’s your stupid football moment? Comment below or tweet us @90minutecynic

Follow Bryan on Twitter @bryanmcmanus



Living proof that Thomas Jefferson was wrong when he said “all men are created equal” although considering Thomas Jefferson also said an African nation would win the World Cup before the year 2000 why should anyone listen to him? Bryan has a passion for Celtic, a love of football and a tendency to make completely absurd statements in such a way that you might actually agree with them. Follow on twitter @bryanmcmanus

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