A Comedy Of Errors: The Ibrox Farce

The Dictionary describes a farce as “A light dramatic work in which highly improbable plot situations, exaggerated characters, and often slapstick elements are used for humorous effect” the word usually describes plays, films and perhaps incidents that occur in everyday life that are slightly beyond the norm however, since David Murray decided to abandon ship and hand over the reigns of the club playing out of Ibrox to Craig Whyte what we have witnessed is beyond farce, events have unfolded that could not have been written in the wildest imagination of the most ardent anti Rangers fans.  If you had locked up the members of The Goons, Monty Python and Saturday Night Live in a room threw in Laurel and Hardy, the cast of the Carry on Films and Keith Lemon for good measure then told them to come up with the most absurd situations they could imagine they would not have come close to writing any of the incidents that have been attributed to Rangers over the past few years.

During the last week alone we have seen the current Rangers goalkeeper being charged with betting on football, the Rangers captains mum favouriting some “specialist” material on Twitter (due to a computer virus it would appear) and to top the lot the big handed Yorkshireman, Charles Green, being interviewed in a hospital bed by a fawning Jim White on Sky Sports News.  While a post op Charles Green in a gown, hooked up to a drip, crying in a hospital bed may take some beating in terms of utter lunacy we thought it may be worthwhile looking back at some of the reports over the last few years that have had football fans laughing and the general public scratching their heads.

The Dallas Cowboys & Apple

Despite not winning a Superbowl since 1995 The Dallas Cowboys are the most valuable team in the NFL and one of the top 5 sports teams in the world so it was surprising to say the least when the bold Charles Green announced that Jerry Jones was considering a commercial tie in with a Scottish football club.  This was around the time Green was on a paid for tour of North American Rangers Supporters clubs and promising them the world.  Titbits like signing with Adidas, bringing out an Orange strip and stating that selling naming rights to their stadium would entice the likes of Apple who could call it iBrox went down a storm with the beleaguered support.  This allowed Green to continue his bluster and lead to him shafting the fans for millions.  Of course The Cowboys had never even heard of Charles Green and Apple decided not to enter a bidding war with Sports Direct who eventually snapped up the stadium naming rights for £1.

Send in the clown

As The Rangers fans knew they needed to raise money to help their club they set up a fighting fund.  Unfortunately the web domain bluenose.co.uk belonged to Mr Custard, a children’s entertainer who was inundated with emails from fans wanting to make donations to the cause.  It was pleasing that the fans were attempting to make up for their club shafting a face painter by throwing dosh at a clown.

Ian Black betting on his own team

It’s widely accepted that footballers like a bet, this episode highlighted the SFA rule that footballers in this country are not allowed to bet on any game, anywhere! While this may seem a harsh rule it does rule out the potential of a footballer making a killing on receiving any inside info. Perhaps a footballer being caught betting could have been excused a footballer betting against his own team is unforgiveable, unless of course that player plays for Rangers under Ally McCoist.  Fans were rightly furious, the player should have been immediately sacked but no, Ally’s sanction was to wave a wee bit of paper apparently with names of other players who gambled and then to select Ian Black for the first team as soon as he had served his SFA ban.

Chuck’s Christmas message

Not sure what is funnier with this, the outpouring of propaganda from the Yorkshire snake oil salesman or the fact The Rangers fans fell for it.

AGM within tent

The Rangers AGM was going to be explosive, shareholders wanted answers, they demanded openness from their board so in an attempt to connect with the fans the board set up a wee marquee on the pitch held down with what appeared to be water barrels.  As opposed to manning up and facing the shareholders head on they set up an easy escape route in case they had to head out.  The club crest falling off the stage when one of the Easdales stood up to speak summed the whole charade up perfectly.

The Holding Company

We won’t even attempt to decipher this one.  A brand new made up phrase that no one that believes it can actually explain.  Something to do with incubators and Rangers actually being Kit Kats.

Rangers Ultras like to party all the time

A picture paints a thousand words.

05.02.2012  Rangers v Dundee United  Scottish Cup 5th Round

 

The new team bus – pay to watch the video

Rangers boasted they had the best coach in the world unfortunately the fans excitement quickly disappeared when they realised this wasn’t an addition to the management team but was, in fact, a bus! The  bus boasted kitchen facilities so team meals could be prepared on board which probably means there was a kettle so they could make Pot Noodles.  The “Premiership level” bus was to be first used for the clubs glamour trip to Highland League Brora.  Fans were invited to pay to watch a video of the bus and you can still read all about the bus on the club website . The bus mysteriously caught fire but despite there likely to have been an insurance claim for the damage the club do not appear to have reintroduced a super bus for the team.

Wealth off the radar

Keith Jackson coined the phrase to describe the funds Craig Whyte had at his disposal. Craig Whyte went from being a Billionaire with wealth off the radar, to a Monaco based millionaire playboy to a Motherwell based businessman.  Well done Keith for the part you played in the big “dupe”.

Karaoke after the cup final

The Rangers after party had been planned.  They would bring back the Ramsdens cup and celebrate at Ibrox.  They lost to Raith Rovers but the party went ahead and their defeated, remorseful manager was photographed belting out the hits on Karaoke.

The League Cup semi-final t-shirt

The club reach a semi-final and attempt to squeeze some more dosh out of their fans by releasing a t-shirt to celebrate their achievement.

tshirt

The £1m crossbar challenge

The first of its kind in world football, “a prize of this value has never been offered in this way in football” stated the club.  It was a venture that was supposed to take pride of place at every home game, a fan could win a life changing sum of money, no one is really sure if it ever happened.

The Indian superstars and Hindi Twitter account

The worldwide appeal of Rangers saw them bring the brightest lights in Indian football to Murray Park for a trial.  Such was the interest the club set up a Hindi Twitter account to report on games and provide news for the billions of followers.  Sunil Chhetri and Jeje Lalpekhlua lasted about a week and @RFC_Hindi  gained 194 followers.

The £1 Sports Direct protest

The fans group Sons of Struth organised a protest that would see them take items to the counter and offer the staff payment of £1.  They forgot this was Sports Direct so when they took up a pair of trainers, three t-shirts and a set of golf clubs their offer of £1 was accepted and they were given change.

The Brechin hedge

The beginning of “the journey” a new adventure on the climb to the top.  the match ball got stuck in a hedge, enough said.

The John Brown rally on the steps of Ibrox

He was a Rangers man, he invited people to his house to show them the deeds then told them to “get tae!” , he swore on his Grandsons life and he wanted folk to buy pies.  He ranted, he raged, and he wanted to see the deeds for the stadium he played for, quite simply the best video on the internet. Gaun yersel Bomber!!

This is by no means a definitive list we just don’t have the server space to detail everything so tell us what’s been your “favourite” Rangers moment over the last few years.  Comment below or Tweet us @90minutecynic


About

90 Minute Cynic is a football website covering the important issues in the modern game. We follow European football with a distinct focus on the Scottish & English Premier Leagues. As part of the Hail Hail Media network, we cover Glasgow Celtic on our very popular podcast. We also seek out interesting and funny stories from all corners of the globe, bringing an analytical yet enjoyable spin on football podcasting.


'A Comedy Of Errors: The Ibrox Farce' have 23 comments

  1. January 24, 2015 @ 3:32 pm Doc

    A decent list, which will hopefully help the Newco fans realise, exactly why the whole of Scottish Fitba is pissin themselves laughing at Scotlands newest Club !
    You could of course add the fact that the Original Rangers fans refused to save their Club from liquidation, or the amount in Millions that Sevco have blown in order to win 2 Amatuer League Titles? Perhaps the fact that 5088 currently have more Gardeners than Managers ??
    Regardless – Celtic fans are looking forward to next week, when we will play our first ever match against this Club (assuming they can beg for enough spare change to pay the wages)

    Reply

    • January 24, 2015 @ 10:57 pm jimmy stranraerfc

      for the past few weeks all i have heard from the bheasts from the east is how they are looking forward to the old firm game again. but i thought they said rangers were dead, so now they are not dead, make up your minds,, if all you have got to look forward to is playing a team who have came from the bottom division of the scottish league, and are a division below them still.then they have a sad life. they should be more worried about their own team, who twice couldnt even qualify for the champions league, played 6 games in the euro and only won 2, got beat at home to hamilton, and have became a selling club , have to close tiers in their stands and hardly anyone interested in their premier league. rangers wont get promoted, sky ect will pull out as they have threatened as no one is interested in scottish football anymore,and as mr liewell said on telly celtic lose 10 million a year because rangers are not there. i support scottish football but what we are watching is pure crap ,,,and celtic fans know it

      Reply

      • January 25, 2015 @ 10:17 am Wasted youth

        Stranraer FC? Aye ok then. Looks very much to me as though you are missing the point of this site, however rest assured that for every celtic fan looking forward to the 1st game against sevco, there are another 2 who wish it weren’t happening. I’m in the second group personally and would have been happy for this fixture never to have been resurrected. We as celtic fans have much to look forward to, this game -in my opinion-is not one of them and as for sevco fans camping out overnight for tickets, this tells me one set of fans wants it more than the other. The question that must be asked is why? They must know unequivacally that they will lose, so why are they so desperate for the game? I think we know the answer to that, and I fear Glasgow’s A & E wards will soon find out.

        Reply

      • January 25, 2015 @ 6:36 pm Alan

        Did you just copy Reagan’s ‘Armageddon’ speech of 2\3 years ago or do you use a template ?

        Reply

  2. January 24, 2015 @ 3:59 pm G Coll

    You left out the potential saviour that was the Noodle King of Singapore.
    The thought of it provoked an image of Fat Sally collecting the guy from the airport in a rickshaw and dragging him the whole way to Ibrokes.
    Then there was the part time financial guru that the knight of the realm depended on in his battle with Hector.
    That his other occupation is a director of porn movies does conjure up images of future uses for the Asbestodome that could be more lucrative than the present occupants.

    Reply

  3. January 24, 2015 @ 4:34 pm Alistair Stanton

    Well this article is deserving of the Booker prize for the year’s best fiction. Why don’t you log onto SPFL Rangers…where you’ll find the club listed as founded in 1872 together with a world record 117 major honours. This of course has been confirmed by the SFA:
    “Agreement on transfer of membership.
    Friday, 27 July 2012.
    Joint statement on behalf of The Scottish FA, The Scottish Premier League, The Scottish Football League and Sevco Scotland Ltd.

    We are pleased to confirm that agreement has been reached on all outstanding points relating to the transfer of the Scottish FA membership between Rangers FC (In Administration), and Sevco Scotland Ltd, who will be the new owners of The Rangers Football Club.There were a number of complex and challenging issues involved but, primarily, the Scottish FA had to be satisfied that the new owners of Rangers would operate in the best interests of the club, its fans and Scottish football in general.” New OWNERS of Rangers FC…and while still in administration. The European Club Assoc., stance is clear: “However, Rangers are permitted to hold associate membership, which holds no voting rights, as they are one of the founder members of the ECA. The organisation considers the club’s history to be continuous regardless of the change of company.” The Advertising Standards Authority (twice) in response to yet more obsessed fans of Scotland’s second most successful club was again crystal clear: “We consulted with UEFA, which explained that its rules allowed for the recognition of the “sporting continuity” of a club’s match record, even if that club’s corporate structure had changed. We also consulted with the SFA, which confirmed that its definition of a football “club” varied depending on context, and could sometimes refer to an entity separate from the club’s corporate owner. The SFA further pointed out that, following RFC’s transfer to a new corporate owner, Newco did not take a new membership of the Scottish FA but rather that the previous membership was transferred across to them so they could continue as the same member of the Scottish FA. We considered that consumers would understand that the claim in question related to the football club rather than to its owner and operator and we therefore concluded that it was not misleading for the ad to make reference to RFC’s history, which was separate to that of Newco.” We consulted with UEFA and the SFA…I could go on here for hours listing various bodies and such like who all state Rangers FC continue,but we Gers know your obsession blinds you to all logic. So you all carry on pretending to believe Rangers don’t exist (the fact you all can’t stop writing about us or paying for ridiculous adverts or complaints to the ASA’s of this world actually defeats your own argument but you don’t seem to realise that)and we’ll all carry on supporting Scotland’s most successful club (ASA approved twice). Rangers SPFL…go log on and give yourselves a shock.

    Reply

    • January 24, 2015 @ 7:15 pm Double D

      School playground stuff, weans……

      Reply

    • January 24, 2015 @ 8:28 pm Alexander

      Another poor ‘old Rangers’ fan in Denial! ‘Undeniably’ a Shame! Why? ” Some people want the truth so badly ,but after it has been presented to them,they deem it unacceptable. In the end they create their own version of the truth which is more acceptable to their perception. They Deny the Truth, Worship the Lie!”

      Reply

    • January 25, 2015 @ 12:58 am Neil Regan

      That’s a mighty nice find there, Ally. However that statement refers to THE RANGERS FOOTBALL CLUB. Weren’t you guys known only as RANGERS FOOTBALL CLUB pre liquidation? I am sure you were. There are more plot holes in the same club myth than in a movie by the plagiarism specialists, Asylum.
      Can you answer these questions?
      What was the name of the holding company that was liquidated if Ranger Football Club was incorporated over 100 year ago?
      “A football club, once incorporated, is indistinguishable in Scots law from its corporate identity. If the club was separate it would need its own constitution, committee members, trustees, etc. Rangers Football Club (IL) does not have that because it is incorporated.” you will find that statement cited by the BBC with a simple web search.

      Why did Charles Green have to report that he bought the clubs history? Surely if you were the same club then he wouldn’t have needed to make that statement.
      Why did the press report your clubs death in every paper, yet only James Traynor (in a scripted acknowledgment of guilt akin to the middle east hostage videos) said he got it wrong and was given the facts by an unnamed business expert that omitted the Scots Law rule of incorporated football clubs.

      Where are all these court cases for the lies told about your club that were threatened by every owner of your club. to date the only proper legal threat made was Easdale V SOS.

      The simple fact is the football authorities fear your criminal element. They do not wish to receive death threats or bomb in the post. The football authorities will say anything to keep themselves safe in their lives and jobs. If that means letting you think you are the same club and ignoring the law of the land, then they are going to do it. They all fear you. The support of every other Scottish team don’t and they will remind you of your place every other week,

      The Rangers support, like Celtic’s in 1994, had a chance to save your club. We saved ours. You didn’t. You need to accept responsibility in that as a Ranger fan.

      Reply

    • January 25, 2015 @ 6:33 pm Alan

      Neil Doncaster confirmed rangers ARE a new club just two weeks ago !

      Reply

  4. January 24, 2015 @ 4:45 pm Matt Crozier

    As my granny used to say, ‘What goes around, comes around!’

    There too numerous websites run by fans of Celtic too mention, most are run simply to have a pop at The Famous Glasgow Rangers. Have a laff, have a pop and have a serious slag if you must. The thing that worries me the most is that the uneducated of which there are many, will take it all very very seriously.

    I have heard that some of your fans are taking out an advert stating that RFC is not RFC – why bother? Will some kids not be fed to pay for this advert? Will some kids miss out on a holiday to pay for this advert. If you have monies too waste why not give it to charity?

    I continually hear about fans of CFC are the best in the world – only in Parkhead and Coatbridge!!

    Reply

    • January 24, 2015 @ 9:31 pm Mark

      It really is all about the rangers then eh? Soon you will get it back tenfold mate. Enjoy it while you can eh

      Reply

      • January 24, 2015 @ 9:52 pm Mark

        That was the most bigoted blog I have ever seen. It’s about time you lot either stopped your obsession with rangers and started supporting your own team as your attendances are embarrassing for a club with a free run. We all know yours will only rise when your obsession gets back up. Personally I wouldn’t mind rangers stayin where we are just to enjoy all you scummy dirty bastards get even more skint! You really are a disgrace of a club, even when u do something half decent you put the boot in. You know what I mean. How you seem to think you got moral high ground is beyond anyone with a brain

        Reply

    • January 24, 2015 @ 9:52 pm rankbajin

      the weans are gointae benidorm. ice cream and jelly

      Reply

  5. January 24, 2015 @ 8:06 pm JohnnyManc

    Re Alistair Stanton;
    You epitomise the problem with your support which is the inability to distinguish between PR spin and commercial interests as opposed to facts.
    So I have one simple question for you, can you explain, using facts, the reason why TRFC entered the 2012-13 Scottish Cup in the second round as opposed to the third round which was the right of the ‘club’ finishing second in the previous years SPL?

    And to save you some time, if you are going to claim that it was some sort of punishment please provide the evidence i.e. a documented record of who issued this ‘punishment’ and why?

    I can guarantee that you will be unable to meet this challenge and there is only one simple explanation….good luck in your first ever meeting with Glasgow Celtic and ask yourself whether the glory years of Murray’s tainted reign were worth it for the ignominy facing all supporters of the team playing at The Sports Direct Arena.

    Reply

  6. January 24, 2015 @ 8:20 pm john white

    totally obsessed.lol.

    Reply

  7. January 24, 2015 @ 8:33 pm Paulmac2

    Alistair…A simple question…why did Sevco 5088 need to apply for a transfer of Membership when Craig Whytes wavetower did not? There was no need to transfer the membership if the club and company are seperate.

    Under Scots law the Company and the club are one in the same….just ask Donald Finlay QC…

    The ECA is a private members club…who could state the moon is mafe of Cheese if they wanted. Their opinion (which is what it is) is worthless

    The ASA took their advice from…guess who…thats right…the club at Ibrox…UEFA provided advise on a change of owners…they were not asked about a club being liquidated…2 different matters.

    The SFA’s opinion is worthless…they are run by a man who was in debt to the tune of 95k pounds to the club that was liquidated in 2012

    David Murray in the 1999 Rangers FC accounts proudly displayed the certificate from Companies house that confirmed Rangers FC was a 100 year old Company….

    The SPL took a vote on whether to allow SEVCO5088 into the SPL…a vote Rangers FC were allowed to vote on?…a club voting on whether to allow itself into the league it is already in??…instead of starting in the bottom division…how does rthat work if it is the same club?

    The SFL then took a vote on whether to allow the new club SEVCO5088 entry straight into division 1…again the the vote favoured the new club starting at the bottom.

    They were never relegated…how could a club who finished 2nd in the league be relegated? They can’t…and any claim they were relegated is a deliberate bare faced lie to cover their liquidation.

    This is not about being obsessed…it is about facts and lies being promoted by the SFA…the SMSM…and those associated with a club that cheated, stole VAT…I could go on…charity money…threats to various people simple carrying out their duties…

    Reply

  8. January 24, 2015 @ 9:25 pm Another Wilson

    …..and so the debate goes on! Remember when the ‘Tic were going down the tubes only to be saved by fans favourite, wee McCann and his bunnet? I know from close association to previous boards, that the demise of Rangers started in the mid 1960’s when chairman John Lawrence started selling off Rangers owned land in the city. Aye, Rangers owned half of all the fitba pitches throughout the City that all school kids played on. They were soon covered in Lawrence houses ( and who do you think benefited from that!?). Same with all the tenement homes the club owned….gone and the proceeds into another pocket. Nothing changed with Murray…..never a dividend to be paid but he and his cronies certainly pocketed the cash! Onwards too the present bunch of duddies and nothing has changed.
    Scottish football will never reach the dizzy financial heights of the English Premiership yet all the spivs and wide boys still hanker after a directorship – well that’s really been tarnished now!! – and they flaunt their “status” to their friends.
    Hearts are going in the right direction with direct fan involvement and that is sorely needed at Ibrox, if only to show those fans who shout for crazy spending that the numbers need to add up. Murray played a blinder with his “if Celtic spend £1 we’ll spend £10” – that pleased the masses and put up a huge smoke screen for what was really going on.
    I sincerely hope that when Craig Whyte comes to trial, the prosecution will have someone on hand to ask Murray, Whyte and Co all the difficult questions that we need answered.

    Reply

  9. January 24, 2015 @ 9:25 pm Nas M

    Lol Matt check out Ally’s post above re twice bring cleared by the ASA.. Maybe you should refer the ad to them?

    Too many funnies and I also seem to remember that rat Novo on back of a flat bed outside ibroke… But if I had to choose it would be Bomber!

    Reply

  10. January 24, 2015 @ 10:35 pm kram83au@hotmail.com

    A stanton .so hearts fought to avoid liquidation for nothing then,thanks for clearing that up.lol. charles green,” i bought the history”, the same club bought its history,lol really!.you didnt play in europe the season after your club died, now why was that. the 3 year paper work perhaps.”if rangers cant get an agreement on a cva the club and all the history is gone”, GONE! remember. your club died only for a big lie to be printed time and again until the uneducated swallowed the old club lie. there’s no getting away from those dark days where every man and his dog admitted to the club dying, unfortunately the sevco football association like the blue pound to much and what we see in the media is what we have always had a bunch govan influenced people behind typewriters.THE, rangers and theres a clue, the big THE name change is there for a reason to keep hector at bay, you can pretend to all else that your the same club it doesnt change the fact the club died and will be constantly reminded about this. hmrc agreed to a cva with hearts, rangers didnt. standfree**

    Reply

  11. January 24, 2015 @ 10:47 pm kram83au@hotmail.com

    A stanton .so hearts fought to avoid liquidation for nothing then,thanks for clearing that up.lol. charles green,” i bought the history”, the same club bought its history,lol really!.you didnt play in europe the season after your club died, now why was that. the 3 year paper work perhaps.”if rangers cant get an agreement on a cva the club and all the history is gone”, GONE! remember. your club died only for a big lie to be printed time and again until the uneducated swallowed the old club lie. there’s no getting away from those dark days where every man and his dog admitted to the club dying, unfortunately the sevco football association like the blue pound to much and what we see in the media is what we have always had a bunch govan influenced people behind typewriters.THE, rangers and theres a clue, the big THE name change is there for a reason to keep hector at bay, you can pretend to all else that your the same club it doesnt change the fact the club died and will be constantly reminded about this. hmrc agreed to a cva with hearts, rangers didnt.

    Reply

  12. January 24, 2015 @ 11:18 pm Boaby

    24 secs in…….THE sound bite:

    http://youtu.be/AyFXEHp-u-o

    Reply

  13. January 25, 2015 @ 12:03 am MickG

    If it is indeed the same club then why were they given temporary membership of the SFA in order to play Brechin in July 2012? At that point there had to be two separate clubs one of which has since perished.

    Reply


Would you like to share your thoughts?

Your email address will not be published.

© 2018 90 Minute Cynic. All rights reserved.